Knights in Shining Armor

Let's just say that it started out as a good day, and things just went downhill from there.

It was one of those days where you aren't sure why everything's going wrong or you're feeling so insecure, and you can't pinpoint the cause of it all, but nothing is right.  I felt claustrophobic with worry and pressure, and yet extremely, oddly exposed--like everyone in the world was watching and no one approved.

Walking into the college cafeteria/dining hall wasn't any different.  In fact, I felt even more exposed.  I was coming late, so I knew I'd have no one to sit with, and would yet again be the awkward loner, staring at the empty seat on the other side of the booth.

Then, as I was leaning to reach a plate of french toast, my tray tipped, upending the pasta it held and shattering it all over the floor.

There was silence in the cafeteria, and as I looked at the mess in shock and dismay, the boys at the nearest few tables started laughing and clapping at my shame.  It was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I held back tears as I flagged down a cafeteria worker to clean up the food and broken glass, then made for a quick escape, feeling as broken as the dishes.

As I passed one table, though, I saw that the boys sitting there were giving me sympathetic looks.  One of them had stood up and was making sure the mess had been taken care of.  I don't know why that meant so much to me, but it did.  Then, as I searched for an empty booth, biting my lip to hold back the tears in my eyes, my home teacher passed by, gave a friendly hello, and patted my arm understandingly.

While most of the boys in that cafeteria laughed at my embarrassment and went on with their lives, a few stopped what they were doing and came to the aid of a lady in distress.  And I can never tell them how much it meant.

May the real gentlemen in this world get the blessings they deserve.

People-Pleasing Debunked

This week, I've made an observation that I should've really made forever ago and saved myself a lot of trouble:

People who spend their whole lives trying to please others aren't very likable in the long run.

Yeah, I know, look at any Pinterest quote board and it'll tell you that a million times.  But sometimes, you have to figure things out for yourself to have them really mean something to you.  And I think I finally figured that out this week.

I've spent much of my life trying to please others--I think it's just in my nature.  I lost count long ago of the times that I forwent the things I really loved and wanted to do in order to please another person.  Do that enough, and you start to feel like you're on the rack--being stretched thin, painfully pulled in different directions.  People will demand as much time and energy as you let them take.  They almost always expect whatever they're worried about to be your number one concern.  Go to a few different college classes and you'll see that point proven over and over again.

The thing is, every time I let someone else determine my priorities, I found no happiness.  Every time I stretched myself thin trying to please others, I found no approval.

So what's the point in being miserable if no one else appreciates it?

I realized this week that no one will ever appreciate my time and my effort, me, as much as I do.  So there's no point at all in being unhappy.  When you embrace life and do what you want to do--spend time on those secret things that give you happiness and balance, then you don't care what other people think.  You're too busy being happy.  And then, only then, will people see your happiness, radiance, and comfort with yourself and hop on for the ride.

So be confident.  Do the secret, never-tell-anyone-because-it's-too-special things that enrich the person you were meant to be.  People-pleasers get stepped on and ignored.

Happy, soulful, brave people stand out.

It's Been a While. . .

Hello world!

How's it been?

So, according to my calculations, it's been over 2 years since I've even looked at this blog.  This fills me with fear and wonder.  Where has the time gone?  Then I was a sophomore or junior in High School, practicing photography and chronicling all the animal-related events in my life.  Now I'm at college, pretending to be a responsible adult and hoping I can wade through one more day of classes before Thanksgiving break.

Things have changed, and yet, they're still the same.  Now, while I don't have any farm events to write about, I do have a lot of thoughts that I really don't have a place to express.

This blog is going to become that place.  It has been repurposed--dedicated to the chronicling of big dreams, random adventures, thoughts on life, and tiny things that make me smile.

It isn't really for an audience, but you can read it if you like.
Mostly, I'm starting it up again because I believe in the power of writing things out.  So, read it, ignore it, laugh at it, vow to destroy me for my strange thoughts, whatever.

Here's to a new blog and lots of future adventures.